keep your pants on


According to Tourism Vancouver:

Vancouver is a dynamic, multicultural city set in a spectacular natural environment.

     The very first time occurred while sitting in the back of the #3 bus headed north.  The second time it happened was early in the morning, on my way to work.  And then there was tonight.

    Today started out great, since I didn’t have to work.  Chenoa and Danita made brunch for Tim, Ehren, and myself before heading out to the market.  The weather was gorgeous, so I was happy to see the market packed with people (Little Mountain Studios will be hosting something similar to the community market in the summer months).  Chenoa and I spent the rest of our afternoon crafting and singing along to music.  All in all, it was a pretty relaxing day in the sun and with my friends.  Alas, it was time to go home!  Now, I was a little sketched out about walking along Fraser Street, so I decided to catch the bus to Main Street and just walk along the busy street to get home.  Safe, right?  I shouldn’t encounter anything out of the ordinary…

I am walking down Main Street, on the east side, just past 19th and in front of the apartment complex.  This shorter, stocky, Asian male is walking ahead of me.  He seems a little weird to me, but I can’t really pinpoint what exactly.  Nor do I really care.  Destination: home.  
I am walking along Main Street, coming up to 18th Avenue.  I can see the Vietnamese restaurant up ahead, and I keep walking, but I notice something in my peripheral view, so I turn slightly.  Lo and behold, standing in the corner of the building, is that stocky Asian man, with his pants down, jerking off and staring at me, his round glasses accentuating his rotund face.   He had been waiting for me for this moment.  I don’t remember much in terms of facial expressions; although this seems to be a regular occurrence for me (this is now the third time in the past four months that I have been flashed cock and balls), it doesn’t get easier and it doesn’t unfaze me.  

Is it because I am short and youthful looking, that men feel compelled to whip out their dicks, in an attempt to get a rise out of me?  Is there a hidden camera crew following me around, for some strange and perverted candid reality show?  I don’t recall writing “please show me your junk” on my forehead or anywhere visible.  It’s disgusting.  I don’t want to see your penis or your balls.  So please stop showing me.
The first time was strange in itself – at the very least, Kristina was with me so it didn’t seem as bad.  We were really freaked out, though.  The guy ended up following us and we had to hide out in the Waves coffee shop on Main and Pender.  The second time I was in disbelief.  What a start to my day.  It was 8:45am on a Saturday, and I was on Broadway on my way to work.  I managed to shout, “Oh, fuck off!” to the guy.  

I was ready this time around.  9:00pm on a Sunday.  God’s Day, indeed.  Oh my god.  So he was whipping it at me, his face excited.  I wanted to throw one of my grapefruits at this disguisting individual, but I couldn’t do that to a piece of fruit.  So I yelled:

“Fuck you!  FUCK YOU! FUCK OFF!”
I had my phone in my hand and I put it up to my ear.
“I know exactly what you fucking look like you piece of shit!  Yea I’m calling the police good on you! Fuck you!”
The fucker pulled his pants up and ran off into the alley.
I didn’t call the police – what would they do?  Not much.  I was afraid that he was going to wait for me again, somewhere along Main.  I was pretty paranoid at first, but decided that I had probably scared the guy off, and wouldn’t see him for a bit.

This is becoming a problem.  Friends are now telling me to carry around bear mace or pepper spray with me.  Others are telling me that there’s nothing really I can do about it.  Maybe write a letter and send it to some local paper.  Fuck.  Three times!

So Vancouver males, please keep your pants on.  I’ve seen enough dicks. 



2 Responses to “keep your pants on”

  1. 1 Piratina

    These types of moments are horrifying.
    One day I was walking home from Dressew up Hastings and was right near the Amsterdam Cafe when a dude walking past me said, “I want to fuck you in the ass’.
    To which I replied “I’ll cut your dick off”
    He took off fairly quick.

    And then people wonder why us ladies are a little hardened.

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