parents say the darndest things


Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me “does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?” Referring to the guy I’ve been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked “does he beat you with it too if you’ve been naughty?” FML

      This is one area where I am relieved that my parents and I don’t really have a relationship where we talk on a regular basis about life.  I recall the one (yes, one) time my mom spoke to me about sex.  We were in the car, driving back to their house after picking up groceries from one of those Asian markets along Victoria Drive, when she asked out of the blue, “So do you use protection?”
Stunned, I stared straight at the traffic ahead of us, wondering how much it would hurt if I jumped out of the car right then.  It wasn’t the actual act of rolling that made me nervous, but the possibility of getting smashed by a car driving past, just as I would be rolling away to safety.

“OHMYGOD REALLY?  We’re going to talk about this now?  Umm yes.  I’m on the pill.”


[end conversation and she continues driving]
I was 19 years old. 


I had plans to go bowling last night, but they were ruined; did you know that a lane reservation is apparently a requirement these days?  I sure as hell didn’t.   Oh well.  Now we know for next time. Toby’s was a good alternate choice, except for those ugly paintings they have upstairs.  
Kristina and I were talking yesterday about how we should start our own bowling league.  Good idea, right?  yes!  I think we mostly want matching outfits or shirts or jackets or something along those lines.  What would we call ourselves?
It wouldn’t matter if we were stinkers, either.  Are you in?  Summer bowling league (or whenever these leagues start)


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